Body Dreaming...

This was taken on July 2nd of this year (2012).

© Fiona Dowling Photography

Photographs by Hedi Slimane

Aren't these beautiful? Shot on medium format...I think.

© Hedi Slimane

http://www.hedislimane.com/diary/

Previous Strength Training Successes

So here's an idea of where I got before on my very first 6 week program back in June.

I'm back up to just over 60kg, which is fine, but a good stint from where I was. 

© Fiona Dowling Photography

Gym Anticipation

Tomorrow I return to the gym for the first time in 4 weeks.

Needless to say, I got so close. I was in week 5(ish) of a 6 week weight training program, great weight (57.3kg), great body fat percentage (11%), consistently improving from week to week.

However, at the time, I was under an insurmountable amount of personal stress. Half-way through week 5, I burnt out. I remember the very moment; going into the last set of an overhead barbell press, 32.5kg exactly, I went to push it off my chest, and there it was, I just lost it, and knew I'd lost so much more too.

So tomorrow will be interesting. I've been pulled off the weight lifting, by a great and intuitive trainer who saw straight through me, so now I'm nervous, what will replace it? Will I get results? When can I lift again? That's up to me I suppose, he only provides the framework!

© Fiona Dowling Photography

Broke and broken

This blog has come about for a number of reasons.

Since October 2011, I have participated in several weight based training programs in an attempt to redefine the shape and appearance of my body, as well as attempting to master discipline, routine and overall endurance both mentally and physically.

Roughly a year to the very month I experienced a compromising and unpleasant life event that obliterated not only my my progress in training, but many other things in my life as I knew it. I found myself in a position where I had to redefine my goals, the most alarming realization was that I never really had any.

I've entitled this entry "Broke and broken" because, although the event in question thankfully passed without major incident, it subsequently served as a significant yet poignant eye-opener to too many years of avoidance, pain, denial and suppressed anxiety, the current result of which is a severe lack of personal direction and confidence.

I have therefore created this blog in an attempt to combine the things that might help me in my quest for a sense of purpose and direction.

I am a photographer, and I like training. Both practices have been in disrepute since that life changing event, and possibly were heading that way long before it.

Lets see if I can bring them back to life.

© Fiona Dowling Photography